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Man1k3n
QUOTE
We've all been interviewed for jobs. And, we've all spent most of those interviews thinking about what not to do. Don't bite your nails. Don't fidget. Don't interrupt. Don't belch. If we did any of the don'ts, we knew we'd disqualify ourselves instantly. But some job applicants go light years beyond this. We surveyed top personnel executives of 100 major American corporations and asked for stories of unusual behavior by job applicants.

The lowlights:


Said he was so well qualified [that] if he didn't get the job, it would prove that the company's management was incompetent.

Stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application.

Brought her large dog to the interview.

Chewed bubble gum and constantly blew bubbles.

Candidate kept giggling through serious interview.

She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to the music and me at the same time.

Balding candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned to office a few minutes later wearing a hairpiece.

Applicant challenged interviewer to arm wrestle.

Asked to see interviewer's resume to see if the personnel executive was qualified to judge the candidate.

Announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and French fries in the interviewer's office.

Without saying a word, candidate stood up and walked out during the middle of the interview.

Man wore jogging suit to interview for position as financial vice president.

Said if he were hired, he would demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm.

Interrupted to phone his therapist for advice on answering specific interview questions.

Wouldn't get out of the chair until I would hire him. I had to call the police.

When I asked him about his hobbies, he stood up and started tap dancing around my office.

Had a little pinball game and challenged me to play with him.

Bounced up and down on my carpet and told me I must be highly thought of by the company because I was given such a thick carpet.

Took a brush out of my purse, brushed his hair and left.

Pulled out a Polaroid camera and snapped a flash picture of me. Said he collected photos of everyone who interviewed him.

Candidate asked me if I would put on a suit jacket to insure that the offer was formal.

Said he wasn't interested because the position paid too much.

While I was on a long-distance phone call, the applicant took out a copy of Penthouse, and looked through the photos only, stopping longest at the centerfold.

During the interview, an alarm clock went off from the candidate's briefcase. He took it out, shut it off, apologized and said he had to leave for another interview.

A telephone call came in for the job applicant. It was from his wife. His side of the conversation went like this: "Which company? When do I start? What's the salary?" I said, "I assume you're not interested in conducting the interview any further." He promptly responded, "I am as long as you'll pay me more." I didn't hire him, but later found out there was no other job offer. It was a scam to get a higher offer.

An applicant came in wearing only one shoe. She explained that the other shoe was stolen off her foot in the bus.

His attache [case] opened when he picked it up and the contents spilled, revealing ladies' undergarments and assorted makeup and perfume.

He came to the interview with a moped and left it in the reception area. He didn't want it to get stolen, and stated that he would require indoor parking for the moped.

He took off his right shoe and sock, opened a medicated foot powder and dusted it on the foot and in the shoe. While he was putting back the shoe and sock, he mentioned that he had to use the powder four times a day, and this was the time.

Candidate said he really didn't want to get a job, but the unemployment office needed proof that he was looking for one.

He whistled when the interviewer was talking.

Asked who the lovely babe was, pointing to the picture on my desk. When I said it was my wife, he asked if she was home now and wanted my phone number. I called security.

She threw up on my desk, and immediately started asking questions about the job, like nothing had happened.

Pointing to a black case he carried into my office, he said that if he was not hired, the bomb would go off. Disbelieving, I began to state why he would never be hired and that I was going to call the police. He then reached down to the case, flipped a switch and ran. No one was injured, but I did need to get a new desk.

Asked if I wanted some cocaine before starting the interview.


http://www.pinetree.net/humor/donthireme.html

LOL funny stuff. Who would offer coke before an interview?
dkreifus
That was hilarious! We're in the middle of interview now, so I'm just waiting for one of these.

The most extreme I've seen so far is the guy who came in for an internship. He was dressed almost casual, hair unbrushed. He said he wanted to change IT, and start by putting Linux (unbuntu) on all the computers, since there was no real central management for windows
Man1k3n
QUOTE(dkreifus @ Feb 15 2007, 21:47) *

That was hilarious! We're in the middle of interview now, so I'm just waiting for one of these.

The most extreme I've seen so far is the guy who came in for an internship. He was dressed almost casual, hair unbrushed. He said he wanted to change IT, and start by putting Linux (unbuntu) on all the computers, since there was no real central management for windows


laugh.gif some guy.

The worst interview I ever had to do was when I was working for Wal-Mart and I had this 34 year old male come in wearing a dirty white t-shirt, blue jeans that were stained and ripped to shreds and shoes that were so warn that when we walked you could hear the bottom of the shoe flapping around. Not to mention the man's hair was unbrushed and matted, looked like he hadn't shaved in days, not to forget the fact that he smelled like he didn't bathe in weeks. So during the interview he was sweating and nervous, I gave him the benefit of the doubt thinking that the man just had the first interview jitters and I attempted to over look that until I noticed his behavior had a reason behind it. He kept his hands underneath the table the entire time, but it looked like he was doing something with them. So I "accidentally" dropped my pen and when bending down to pick it up I looked under the table quickly to see what the hell he was doing. Well he was rubbing and wrenching his hands in an almost compulsive manner. Then in the middle of the interview he said, "Uh...can...you....uh....uh....excuse me for a moment, I don't feel to good and I need to go to the bathroom." So I said sure that was cool with me, I joked with him saying I didn't want him to get sick on the table and make the rest of the interview awkward. He kinda chuckled and quickly left.

Twenty minutes later he comes back, much more calm, cool and relaxed than he was. I noticed before he sat back down that he almost lost his balance and that there was a little bit of blood coming out of his left arm...the size of a needle...

After he sat down I noticed that his pupils were completely dilated and he started having trouble keeping his eyes open all the way as well as his speech was extremely slurred and somewhat confusing.

So I finished the interview and told him the usual "we'll give you a call in about a week". Well I didn't hire him of course, because if I did then I would have sent him straight to the hospital for a drug test (per company policy for all new hires). Well about 20 minutes after he left I heard on the walkie-talkie that one of the janitors just got done cleaning the rest room (the one the guy used when he was 'sick') and they found an empty syringe by one of the stall's toilets.

Sinbad
You wonder where people's common sense has gone... apparently right out the fucking window.

I haven't had to do any job interviews yet that weren't just for formality (already had the job both times) but damn, still have some common sense.
Jizzylax
I interviewed a kid while working at the golf course that had mostly Hispanic laborers. I ended the interview with, "What do you think is the biggest flaw that you could foresee will hinder your performance at this job?"

A: I don't like Mexicans and I can't get along with them at all.

I basically told the kid, "See ya buddy!" Probably 80% of the workforce was Mexican. I didn't want to have any stabbings on the jobsite.
Singh400
laugh.gif Wow, crazy ass people huh!

QUOTE
Wouldn't get out of the chair until I would hire him. I had to call the police.
HHHAAAAAA laugh.gif
Man1k3n
QUOTE(Jizzylax @ Feb 16 2007, 02:15) *

I interviewed a kid while working at the golf course that had mostly Hispanic laborers. I ended the interview with, "What do you think is the biggest flaw that you could foresee will hinder your performance at this job?"

A: I don't like Mexicans and I can't get along with them at all.

I basically told the kid, "See ya buddy!" Probably 80% of the workforce was Mexican. I didn't want to have any stabbings on the jobsite.


that reminds me another time I interviewed someone at walmart and it ended in like 10 seconds. Before I could get a single word out this woman blurts out, "Do I have to work with any niggers? Cause I think they're are the laziest people to work with and I don't get along with them people too much and their God awful taste in music."

I almost pissed myself, I was thinking, "is this real? is this woman fucking for real!?"

and I looked at her and just said, "sorry, but this interview is over have a nice day."

she storms out of the office like I was the one who wronged her and I heard her yell down the hallway, "God damned nigger lover!"

did I forget to mention that this woman had a very thick redneck accent?

Singh400
QUOTE(Man1k3n @ Feb 16 2007, 04:21) *

that reminds me another time I interviewed someone at walmart and it ended in like 10 seconds. Before I could get a single word out this woman blurts out, "Do I have to work with any niggers? Cause I think they're are the laziest people to work with and I don't get along with them people too much and their God awful taste in music."

I almost pissed myself, I was thinking, "is this real? is this woman fucking for real!?"

and I looked at her and just said, "sorry, but this interview is over have a nice day."

she storms out of the office like I was the one who wronged her and I heard her yell down the hallway, "God damned nigger lover!"

did I forget to mention that this woman had a very thick redneck accent?

laugh.gif L laugh.gif M laugh.gif A laugh.gif O laugh.gif

That sort of reminds me of when the Top Gear presenters nearly got beat up by a bunch of hicks!

You have to watch it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6MJVzXbqRU
dkreifus
Video is gone...removed...

I just finished a phone interview, where the guy just WOULDN'T stop talking. He was qualified in many ways, but just wouldn't shut up.
Man1k3n
QUOTE(dkreifus @ Feb 16 2007, 17:46) *

Video is gone...removed...

I just finished a phone interview, where the guy just WOULDN'T stop talking. He was qualified in many ways, but just wouldn't shut up.



Yeah, that can be a problem. I always liked people who communicated fairly well with team members as well as customers; however sometimes there are those type of people that talk wayyyyyy too much to where they can be extremely annoying in regards to other team members to the extent of them being distracted from concentrating on the task at hand. Not to mention some customers feel like they are being harassed if someone just doesn't stop. Also if they talk that much on the phone, what makes you think that they won't just jibber jibbar away to someone without actually doing any real work?
Kal-El
QUOTE(Man1k3n @ Feb 15 2007, 14:45) *

Asked who the lovely babe was, pointing to the picture on my desk. When I said it was my wife, he asked if she was home now and wanted my phone number. I called security.


Ha! Ha! Ha! I gotta try this one sometime (if ever I am interviewed by someone who has a hot looking wife)!!! laugh.gif
Man1k3n
QUOTE(Kal-El @ Feb 17 2007, 04:14) *

QUOTE(Man1k3n @ Feb 15 2007, 14:45) *

Asked who the lovely babe was, pointing to the picture on my desk. When I said it was my wife, he asked if she was home now and wanted my phone number. I called security.


Ha! Ha! Ha! I gotta try this one sometime (if ever I am interviewed by someone who has a hot looking wife)!!! laugh.gif



I have to admit that, that one was probably my favorite 'cause that is just way too fucked up.
Singh400
QUOTE(Singh400 @ Feb 16 2007, 17:08) *

QUOTE(Man1k3n @ Feb 16 2007, 04:21) *

that reminds me another time I interviewed someone at walmart and it ended in like 10 seconds. Before I could get a single word out this woman blurts out, "Do I have to work with any niggers? Cause I think they're are the laziest people to work with and I don't get along with them people too much and their God awful taste in music."

I almost pissed myself, I was thinking, "is this real? is this woman fucking for real!?"

and I looked at her and just said, "sorry, but this interview is over have a nice day."

she storms out of the office like I was the one who wronged her and I heard her yell down the hallway, "God damned nigger lover!"

did I forget to mention that this woman had a very thick redneck accent?

laugh.gif L laugh.gif M laugh.gif A laugh.gif O laugh.gif

That sort of reminds me of when the Top Gear presenters nearly got beat up by a bunch of hicks!

You have to watch it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6MJVzXbqRU

Found a working link now, that video was removed because the BBC complained to YouTube.

Anyway, enjoy: http://www.livevideo.com/video/landing/A8C...mp;tx_cid=69262
Man1k3n
QUOTE(Singh400 @ Feb 19 2007, 17:35) *

QUOTE(Singh400 @ Feb 16 2007, 17:08) *

QUOTE(Man1k3n @ Feb 16 2007, 04:21) *

that reminds me another time I interviewed someone at walmart and it ended in like 10 seconds. Before I could get a single word out this woman blurts out, "Do I have to work with any niggers? Cause I think they're are the laziest people to work with and I don't get along with them people too much and their God awful taste in music."

I almost pissed myself, I was thinking, "is this real? is this woman fucking for real!?"

and I looked at her and just said, "sorry, but this interview is over have a nice day."

she storms out of the office like I was the one who wronged her and I heard her yell down the hallway, "God damned nigger lover!"

did I forget to mention that this woman had a very thick redneck accent?

laugh.gif L laugh.gif M laugh.gif A laugh.gif O laugh.gif

That sort of reminds me of when the Top Gear presenters nearly got beat up by a bunch of hicks!

You have to watch it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6MJVzXbqRU

Found a working link now, that video was removed because the BBC complained to YouTube.

Anyway, enjoy: http://www.livevideo.com/video/landing/A8C...mp;tx_cid=69262


OMG....GREATEST....THING...EVER...!!

My heart started pounding through my chest watching that, because I drove through Alabama once about 2 yaers ago, and I'm telling you guys, straight up redneck in some places...especially where I was. To see those guys do that....takes balls...and they're very lucky something didn't happen to them...very very lucky.


kurgan2001
QUOTE(Man1k3n @ Feb 19 2007, 14:49) *

QUOTE(Singh400 @ Feb 19 2007, 17:35) *

QUOTE(Singh400 @ Feb 16 2007, 17:08) *

QUOTE(Man1k3n @ Feb 16 2007, 04:21) *

that reminds me another time I interviewed someone at walmart and it ended in like 10 seconds. Before I could get a single word out this woman blurts out, "Do I have to work with any niggers? Cause I think they're are the laziest people to work with and I don't get along with them people too much and their God awful taste in music."

I almost pissed myself, I was thinking, "is this real? is this woman fucking for real!?"

and I looked at her and just said, "sorry, but this interview is over have a nice day."

she storms out of the office like I was the one who wronged her and I heard her yell down the hallway, "God damned nigger lover!"

did I forget to mention that this woman had a very thick redneck accent?

laugh.gif L laugh.gif M laugh.gif A laugh.gif O laugh.gif

That sort of reminds me of when the Top Gear presenters nearly got beat up by a bunch of hicks!

You have to watch it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6MJVzXbqRU

Found a working link now, that video was removed because the BBC complained to YouTube.

Anyway, enjoy: http://www.livevideo.com/video/landing/A8C...mp;tx_cid=69262


OMG....GREATEST....THING...EVER...!!

My heart started pounding through my chest watching that, because I drove through Alabama once about 2 yaers ago, and I'm telling you guys, straight up redneck in some places...especially where I was. To see those guys do that....takes balls...and they're very lucky something didn't happen to them...very very lucky.


GOOD GOD!!!! laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif

That was fricken AWESOME!!

Balls .. yes .. big and brass at that.
Man1k3n
next time I go around that area, I'm gonna get a camera and I'm gonna go to gas stations and restaurants and yell shit like, DEATH TO NASCAR, and OBAMA FOR PRESIDENT, and GAY MARRIAGE IS A CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE!!!

then I'll call it the redneck run, similar to the bull run in Spain. Only this time I'll make sure the car is running and the door is wide open so that I can make a dukes of hazard type of escape lol biggrin.gif



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